Eva Longoria Then and Now
In 2012, Eva Longoria, rich from her starring roll in an international television sensation called “Desperate Housewives,” famously told the Democrat National Convention that she would be very happy, delighted even, if her taxes were raised. The idea was that she had plenty of money ($13 million per year) and she’d still have a ton of money after she “gave back” to her country.
Then came a string of TV and movie flops: “Kill and Kill Again” (2014), “Doonesbury, the Musical” (2015), “My Crazy Hot Neighbor” (2018) “Hong Kong Calling” (2020), and “Cooking Smart with Adam (Sandler) and Eva” (2024).
In 2026, she announced that she was retiring from acting to spend more time with her forth husband, former Congressman Anthony J. Weiner, who resurrected his own career by becoming a first-rate ventriloquist. (Tony and Molly.)
In 2028, “I’m Back! A Musical Evening with Eva Longoria,” closed after two performances in Orlando, Florida.
Today, the former progressive is fighting tooth and nail to keep a roof over her head. “The taxes are insane!” she says. I have to go into my 401k because I’m having a tough time, but my God, the (expletive) government creams you when you do that! And at a time when you’re really hurting. Sales tax, property tax, state tax, federal tax, death tax. The (expletive) tax you even for dying! And for what? So we can pay a bunch of lard-ass public servants to pretend to work. Servants? I’ll tell you who the (expletive) servants are! It’s us. Country’s run by a bunch of (expletive) over-educated, snob communists, if you ask me.”